There is a scene in Bad Moms where Mila Kunis character asks her friends what she should do should she come across an uncircumcised penis. Kristen Bell’s character instructs her to “Run and scream, the way you would if you found a gun in the street” Katherine Hann’s character instead launches into an ill-informed instructional session, on how to deal with the skin. At one point, making it seem as if the skin just dangles there at the tip??

The movie overall was really over-hyped but this particular scene pissed me off. When you’re a parent to boys of the many choices you have to make, whether or not to circumcise your son is one of the first. 

It’s such a huge decision as it’s someone else’s genitalia you’re basically making a lifelong decision for.

My argument and issue here isn’t whether or not to circumcise, it’s that there is a negative connotation if you choose the latter. On top of the laundry list of things parents have to worry about, locker room bullying about foreskin was not something that ever crossed my mind.

Yet, here is it. I have had this conversation with many of my friends, and took an unofficial poll (this topic naturally makes some uncomfortable, as from what I’ve gathered the choice normally mirrors what the Father has, and whether my friend’s partners have their foreskin intact is not something I want to know). 

My results were pretty conclusive. NO ONE CARES. 

I’ve left men out of the equation here because I don’t want to sit down with two penis types and create a compare and contrast chart checking the scientific findings. From the ladies point of view, an uncircumcised penis is not dirtier, it’s not less or more sensitive, it’s not harder to work or maneuver, a penis is a penis. So why the stigma? Who stands to profit from this smear campaign maligning the foreskin? I don’t get it. 

While I haven’t seen a ton of penises, I’ve seen more than one and from the conversations that followed, I never discussed with my friends whether or not they were circumcised. 

Ladies, let’s be honest here, some of us can get pretty candid about what goes on in our sex life but never has it crossed my mind that the foreskin should be a talking point. Size, abilities, stamina, duration, creativity – all benchmarks one would discuss with friends, foreskin? Not so much.

I’m curious if men have such conversations about labia size? I would find it doubtful that they utter something like, “She sucked a mean dick, but her vagina lips were too dangly” Then again, there is a surgery for this, so perhaps I’m just naïve in my assumptions as to what matters when it comes to someone’s junk.

So, if anyone knows where this came from, or if you are one of these women simply HORRIFIED at coming face-to-face with the dreaded Loch Ness Monster of an uncircumcised penis, please let me know why?

I hope if I can sort out where this originated from I can save myself from having an awkward conversation when my 15 year old son doesn’t want to get undressed in gym class, or worse is asking for an adult circumcision (which I imagine to be pretty terrible).